A guide for women explaining the simplicity of us men

This is taken from an Italian newspaper article from a while back and I decided to translate it the best I could. Enjoy.

WOMEN...

1.If you think you are fat, it is most probably true. Don't ask me. I will refuse to answer you.

2.If you want something, ask for it. US MEN, WE ARE NOT COMPLICATED!

3.If you ask a question of which you don't want to hear the answer, don't be surprised listening to the answer you didn't want to hear.

4.If I ask you to pass me the bread, for the love of god, i'm just asking if you can pass me the bread. I am not insinuating that you did not put bread on the table.

5.Sometimes, I don't think of you. There's nothing wrong with that. Please, get used to this. Don't ask me what i'm thinking, unless YOU want to talk about politics, economics, football, or sports cars.

6.Sunday=Barbeque=Pizza=Friends=Football. It's like the full moon or the tide, they can't be avoided.

7.Shopping is not fun.

8.When we go out together, absolutely anything you wear looks good. No really, it does.

9.You already have enough clothes, enough shoes. Crying about it is just blackmail.

10.Most of us men have 3 pairs of shoes. Why would you think we are needed when you need to choose which of your 32 pairs looks better on you.

11.Simple answers like YES and NO are perfectly acceptable to answer any kind of question.

12.Come to me with one problem at a time, if you want help, i'm here for you. Don't ask me for help if it is just for empathy as if I was one of your lifetime girlfriends.

13.A 17 month long headache is a serious problem. Go see a doctor.

14.If something I said can be interpreted in two different ways and one of them makes you depressed, or makes you angry, then probably my intention was to say the other.

15.ALL us men see 16 colors. Lavender and Magenta are not colors.

16.Beer excites us just as much as bags do for you.

17.If I ask you if something's wrong and you answer "nothing", I will believe you and I will act as I would normally.

18.Don't ask me if I love you. If I didn't, I would be somewhere else.Without you.

19.In general: If you have any kind of doubt on us men, think of the easiest answer. Us men...we are really simple.

From blogentrycreator

Holy Snapping Duck Do! I just climbed out from under my rock and realised I have not updated this since petrol was cheaper than a bottle of Grange!... You would not believe the amount of people that are totally stalking me. Truly!.

I am overwhelmed with setting fire to people wearing Crocs, homeschooling five children, just generally being scary to various lawyers I met recently, my day is filled with fluorescent light from sun-up to I run out of alcohol. I am beyond drunk most of the time. I need some perspective.

I probably won't blog until the next time booze prices go up and I have to get sober for a while. What? Or if he morphs into an a$$..

Job and other things

Well since January a lot of things happened.
I have finally found a job! YAY! I now work for a bank "Banca Popolare di Intra" , a small bank that was recently bought by "Veneto Banca". I work in Intra ( a very nice little town on Lake maggiore. Will post a picture.) and i am a credit analyst. In other words i analyse balance sheets and other documents in order to decide if we should loan money to a certain business or not. I've been working there for 6 months now and in December my contract ends. Hopefully i'll have done a good job and they'll renew it.
Apart from all that news I have more recently bought a new guitar and i'm completely amazed at how good it sounds. It's an Epiphone Les Paul 100 and it was so cheap! The picture shows old guitar vs. new. This doesn't mean i'll stop using the Fender! I'm planning to buy new pickups and customise it a bit into a more bluesy/jazzy type of soud. Will keep you updated!

OSFA BAND!

Finally settling back in Italy for a while. Been looking for jobs here and there but still unemployed. Recently, Lorenzo asked me if I was interested in playing in his group OSFA (One Size Fits All) as second guitar. I haven't touched my guitar in 2 years now but I though what the heck!A better opportunity to start playing again cannot be missed!

So yeah I am now a member of OSFA! We play indie covers mostly but the group has a few songs of their own. The website is up and running and I urge you to visit it soon and leave a message on the guestbook. You can find it at [url]www.osfaband.com[/url]. I'll post a pic of the band. We have a gig as well... you can see the details on the news page of the website. We will be playing at the "Fico D'India" at Vedano Olona the 29th of February! Hope to see you all there!

Me and Gloria

Well me and Gloria... We have known each other for 8 years now. She used to be a friend of a friend who came to the family's new year's eve party in 1999! Since then we became close friends. We soon spent a lot of time together and it seemed that something more than just friendship was happening between us. We were small and immature and a lot of stuff lead to us being angry and mean to each other. In the end we always managed to forgive each other (most of it was my fault and I don't know how she could stand me after some things i had told her back then). Last year, the 10th of august 2007 we decided to give our relationship a serious go! And here we are happily together finally a couple as it was meant to be from the start.

Bump!

Wow I haven't written on this blog for ages! I think I should start writing on it again! I also think i should revamp the whole template into something cooler.
Lets see how this goes!

New Blog

Hey all. Just wanted to inform everyone that I created a new blog. This doesn't mean this one will close. It's a "parallel" blog where I use it as my "dream book". It is where I write all the crazy dreams that my crazy head creates at night. Most of them are funny so Click on the links on the coloumn to the right. Or just here. Bookmark it! Dreams

Views for Matthew

Matthew wanted some views of Italy so here they are. They are both links because they are panoramic photos. This one was made at Monte Chiusarella and it includes Varese, Rasa, Brinzio and a tiny bit of lake maggiore. There is a slight repetition on the left side but try to ignore it I did my best to attach the pictures.This one is from Monte Martica by night.

Chiusarella and Friuli

It's been a while since the last post as I went to Friuli for 2 weeks. Just before leaving Brinzio I went "trekking" around the Forests and we reached mount Chiusarella, where we could see all of the "Pianura padana". The first picture is Dino, Pietro's dog cooling down under the water tricking from the fountain. Second photo is on mount Chiusarella and the last two are from my house in Friuli.